Category Archives: Natural Hair Confessions

Wash Day, Squash Day


Yep, it’s another article about “Wash Day”. Anyone who is a natural knows wash day is truly a task, or is it? One thing we know for sure is that washing the hair is a very important element to hair care. It’s referenced as “Wash Day” because for a whole (24) hours your day will resolve around your mentally preparing yourself to wash your hair, style it and allowing it to dry. Wash Day, Squash Day.

Everyone has their preferences, as to what products and ingredients are healthy and what’s not. Personally, I believe your regiment is just as important, if not more important. One thing about natural hair care, is that what works for one person, does not necessarily work for another. And it’s also about trial and error.

The first goal is keeping your mane hydrated and clean. Natural hair sucks up moisture, at least mine does! You can can achieve hydration with many products. Most products clean efficiently.

Next, you need to find a shampoo and conditioner that produces the best results for your hair, as in feel/texture, shine and style hold. You can also find pretty good results with many products. You just have to find what is best for you!

I have found that washing/ or co washing my hair 1x time a week is best! Here’s a typical wash day for me:

  1. Wash or co wash 2x
  2. Conditioner for 10-30 minutes, depending on how I feel.
  3. Apply leave in conditioner
  4. Apply a natural oil and hair grease.
  5. Plat or twist my hair in individual sections. I do this sometimes, often I don’t feel like.

Some tips for wash day:

  • Use a wide tooth comb to detangle as you shampoo.
  • Plat your hair directly after conditioning with your choice of product (example natural oil, gel, pudding, etc) . After your hair dries it will make it easier to handle.
  • Try to air dry your hair as much as possible, but if you choose to air dry, use cold air setting. Always use dryer in a downward position, swaying hair in one direction. Be quick, especially if you’re using hot air!
  • For blowouts or flat ironing do not apply heavy oils or hair grease to your hair. Something like lite use of “bone straight” is good. But using heavy product basically fries your hair. Don’t straighten your hair regularly. Just don’t.

I honestly believe a lot of naturalists’ put too much focus on what products they use, instead of the regiment itself and keeping the hair hydrated. Way before this talk about not using silicones, sulfates, alcohol, etc., we were using products with these ingredients. And if I remember correctly both men and woman of color had large healthy Afro’s back in the dayz.

Granted some products may not be the best ingredients for the hair, the manipulation of the hair is even more vital. How you care for your hair. Take care of your hair, but keep it simple and clean.

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The Shrinkage is Real

Don’t judge my picture, it’s not glamorous at all. I’m literally home chillin’ with no make-up on, Drake said ‘that’s when I’m the prettiest’. Anywayz, believe it or not my hair is actually long enough to twist out. But when I chose not to twist it, what you see is the results. I simply washed my hair and moisturized with hair grease. I rarely ever use a hair pick. My hair is super duper kinky and it appears to be super short. But trust me the shrinkage is real! I decided to take a picture. It’s nice to see the growth, but it also makes me realize how far I have to go. I’m still not at a happy length.


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The Beautiful Nightmare, when a Black girl cuts her hair

Whether it be by choice or force, the stigma about natural black hair is that it doesn’t grow and/or that it’s nappy, and hard to maintain. I will admit the stigma can be true, if you, one, don’t know how to properly maintain natural hair; and, two, if you’re not willing to take the time to maintain your natural hair. But the real truth of the matter is natural black hair is utterly the most unique hair texture in the world, and unlike any other hair type [in the world] it can be manipulated and mimic any style imaginable. Natural hair is versatile. Natural hair is beautiful. Natural hair is exactly what God intended our hair to be!

Natural hair comes in all shapes, sizes and textures. And despite the partially true stiga, natural hair has the potential to grow toward unbelievable lengths and is plain beautiful despite.cuts hair

[Fast forward] although we all may cut our hair for different reasons and ultimately have different lifestyles, etc. When a black girl cuts her hair, it is huge step. Even though at the end of the day it’s just hair. There is no doubt that when a black girl cuts her hair, there are a few phases we share together.

Phase 1) Desire. Every ideal starts with a dream. And then a dream turns into a desire. Prior to your “big chop”, you have already made a decision that you are going to cut your hair! You don’t know when. You don’t quite know how. You haven’t actually told yourself yet. But the desire itself has developed. You find yourself daydreaming about potential new hair styles for yourself. You may even experience dreams of your hair already being cut. But this is no magic, or premonition – just the human brain’s self consciousness at work.

Phase 2) Indecision. Before you decide to cut your hair, you find yourself contemplating whether or not you are actually going to take the “big chop” step. You may find yourself going back and forth. You may openly discuss your desire with others. You ask for the opinions of others. All along you have already decided in your heart that you are going to cut your hair.

Phase 3) Commitment. You have finally told yourself your decision. I am going to cut my hair! You have started taking the steps needed to cut your hair – making sure you have a good pair of earrings, check. Eyebrows are arched, check. Lip gloss popping, check. All the necessities to guarantee you don’t look manley. You may decide to cut your hair yourself. Or, you have already set an appointment with your hair stylist.

Phase 4) Completion. So you cut your hair, girl! Oh my goodness! You really did it. You go girl! Everyone around you is in shock, they can’t believe you did it. And for the next couple of weeks you find yourself repeatedly answering (2) questions: Why did you cut your hair and What are you going to do with it?

Phase 5) Relief. At this point you feel pretty good. Something about cutting your hair is something like a release. You feel accomplished. You think you are ready for this journey, don’t you.

Phase 6) Regret. You look into the mirror and notice your hair is gone! Oh my goodness. What did I do? Am I dreaming? You now feel a sense of incompleteness. You question your intentions. You ask yourself if you made the right decision.

Phase 7) Reality. The truth of the matter has set in, and you have decided to go with the flow. You are definitely in what some like to call “the ugly stage”.

Phase 8) Frustration. Things’ in your hair-life are not quite like you imagined. Some days are good, some days are plain “ bad hair days”. You are googling out the haywire, trying to find ideas for your hair. You are experimenting with different hairstyles and products. Sometimes you may even feel unpretty.

Phase 9) Acceptance. You realize that like any other change in life, it takes readjustment. You are getting used to your new look. You find some techniques and regimens that are working well, even though you’re not quite where you wonna’ be.

Phase 10) Embrace. Finally you are embracing your hair, the good and the bad. You are learning more about your natural hair everyday. You are enjoying the pleasure of watching your hair grow and/or the style manifest into something beautiful. Things are uphill from here. You are a natural sista and plain just rocking it!

*Disclaimer: Not everyone will experience any or all of these phases, but I believe a lot of us do.

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Natural Hair Confessions #2

At least every other week [whether in person or via social media] someone says (something to me to the nature of) “Wow, you cut your hair”. To me they’re implying (something to the nature of) “You shouldn’t have cut your hair, or I prefer it the way it was”.

It’s so crazy because about 9 years ago I can remember the same type of comments and personal perception from myself. I don’t regret my decision, but the feeling of “complete happiness and wholeness” with my hair, in this’ stage, is indeed missing!

My locs were had progressed beyond the infant stage, “the ugly stage”. Yet here I am starting over. I must admit I absolutely hate this period of my hair journey! The big chop is over, but now my hair is at a stage where I can’t really do anything to it because it’s no longer super short and not long enough to style!

I see a lot of naturals in this stage go for the tapped look, which is cute. But I know I won’t keep it up. I also know color my add some jazz to it, but I’m afraid it could stunt my growth and I know it will change my natural texture.

Then, on top of all that I’m still experimenting on the perfect products; so my hair is kind of lost. And, I’m constantly in curiosity because I don’t know at what rate it will grow, nor its healthiness, or outcome.

Natural Hair Confession #1

I have to admit, 29 days into my natural hair journey and I’m having thoughts of concern, but not so much regret. It seems like everywhere I turn I see people with beautiful locs and it reminds me of mine! I feel like I’m being taunted! I start thinking about my baby shower coming up and whether I should get some “weave” so that I look cute? But then I bounce back and realize that I cannot get my locs back and furthermore my level of cuteness should not be determined by my hair, especially hair that’s not mine.

 I believe we gave hair so much credit as to our level beauty and comfort. And this is something I wanted to change. I want to love my hair and myself in it’s natural state. And, I must admit I knew this was not going to be an easy task.

A vlogger on YouTube said (something like this) best, ” It you care what other people think, if you need other people to gratify your decisions, if you need constant praise, if you are sensitive to what others have to say or question, then natural hair is not for you”! I so agree, because to cut your hair and wear it in its natural state takes “confidence and boldness”. You can be make bad or compromising choices in any other category in your life, and no one says a thing. But when you decide to go natural (or change your hair in general) folks will come out of the woodwork with comments and their opinions. Trust me, I don’t have this “big chop” thing all under control, but I’m determined to fight the struggle, because I know the results will be worth it.

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